A wild, wild night at the Denver temple

Last Thursday I was assigned to do the greeting in the chapel. My buddy told me that the men just get thrown in but the women are all well trained. Ha! We seemed to be shorthanded, because they told me that they would send a sister to help me seat the patrons AND they would come and take the people who were waiting in the chapel to another room because the chapel was to be used for a special chapel service. But, no one came. People were coming in huge waves. There seemed to be a group for a wedding so I put them in one spot. Then there was a group for the 7:00 pm session but, it was only the men because little did I know the wives weren't showing up because they were being directed to one of the rooms which was being used as the waiting area for the session. The brothers kept coming up to me and saying "Where is my wife". It was as if all the wives had been swallowed up. I couldn't leave, I couldn't go ask for help. It was only my third night and it was 100 people in pandemonium. I was smiling sweetly and politely and looking like I knew what I was doing and I hadn't a clue what was going on! Finally someone came and we sent the brothers to meet up with their wives. They hustled me off to a session and needed me to do things I hadn't been trained on and dared not risk without help. So there I was with the sweet smile again, 2 hours overdue for the rest room, trying to look confident! But, I'll get it one of these days. Many of those people have been there since the temple opened 13 years ago. They are all loving and lovely and It's a pleasure and a blessing to serve there.

Developmental Psychopathology

I'm at my 2nd PhD class in Lynnchburg VA. Much of the class was on the chemistry of the brain and how the positive or negative social relatioships of the baby with the mom and dad can"wire" that brain for the rest of life. The core of he social brain is also the hub of our fear circuitry. Successful therapy can actually change the wiring of the brain when there has been neglect or abuse or anything less than optimal parenting. I was thinking there was a correlation to another "healing relationship" we have in the LDS church. Harry Harlow studied the impact of social deprivation on young monkeys. Young orphan monkeys were raised by wire surrogate mothers. These monkeys engaged in autistic, self-abusive, and socially inappropriate behaviors. In another set of experiments newborn monkeys were raised in total isolation for the first 6 months. Then were introduced into a colony of monkeys, having had no physical contact, nurturance, or social skill development. These isolate monkeys spent much of their rime huddled in a corner or rocking in place. Furthermore, they failed to develop appropriate social, sexual, or maternal behaviors; they found stimulation and complexity of the social world just too overwhelming. In a subsequent set of experiments, before releasing his isolate monkeys into the larger group, they were given “therapists” The therapists were monkeys of the same species but only half the age of the isolates: true child therapists! And what good therapists they were! The therapist monkeys initiated contact out of interest, curiosity, and their instinct to connect. Though the isolates would initially freeze or withdraw from fear, the young therapists were persistent, continuing to approach and cling onto their “clients”. Gradually the isolates grew less afraid and began clinging back. Ever so slowly, they began to initiate play and learn positive social behaviors. (Suomi & Harlow 1972) It turned out that these younger monkeys were the perfect therapists. Their stage of development led them to connect with the isolates at a very basic physical visceral, and emotional level. More importatly, they would't take NO for an answer. (Cozolino 2006p 314 best of the 6 books!)
This story reminds me so much of missionaries. Some people in the world are living in a state of spiritual deprivation. They are afraid to trust in God. When the missionaries run into them, the missionaries are like the loving baby monkeys, like little puppies, they are always approaching, initiating contact with te instinct to connect. Though the people initially say no and try to withdraw, the young missionaries persist, continuing to approach and cling to their “clients” Gradually a few of the people thaw and learn to love back. Learning not to fear and learing to love are biologically interwoven with spiriuality. God Bless the missionaries!

Marine Donald Barrand

I just received some px from Don's Bio mom, so I thought I'd post them. As many of you know, Don is in Marine Boot camp. He gets to play with guns and grenade launchers. To Don, it's like a large scout outing. He loves it. During the first part of Boot Camp, he attended church regularly and quit smoking. He came home looking all buff, having lost 16 pounds and bore his testimony in Sacrament meeting. My heart kind of stopped when he stood up and looked so sharp in his marine duds. He and Austin wrestled on his 7 day leave and it was wonderful to see him. Now he won't be home again until April. He is allowed to smoke now but he says he says his bunkmate from Colorado won't let him (hope, hope). And the Bigger hope is that he survives the Iranian or Iraqian or Afganistan food, climate and bullets.

Austin Goes into the MTC

We made it in 7 hours instead of 8 because Austin drove 90mph. About midnight when Mark was asleep and we were alone talking, Aussie and I played a question game, “What was your most embarrassing moment” “What was the funniest situation you’ve ever been in?” “When was your best time skiing?”. He told me how much fun he and Don had in their sports/gym class at Arapahoe, how they were always showing off, there were a lot of attractive funny people in that class and how he felt like Don was his best friend. He said the thing he’s most excited for on his mission was having a companion….a buddy to hang with and work with. (Austin is SO amiable) Then I asked him what was one of his most spiritual moments and he told me that he’d gone to the building for young adult fhe but went in the chapel instead and prayed for about 45 minutes and got a stronger testimony of the Savior and going on his mission. At the MTC, Grandma and Grandpa Hogan drove down from Ogden. Danica and Jensen drove down from BYUI. Danica was giving Austin all kinds of tips about the MTC food. Bryce got off work. Sammy was climbing all over Marcinia. Austin was all smiles. As I looked down our row in that MTC room at my beautiful family, where they have you sing “called to serve” and your eyes mist up and I realized all 5 of my bio kids have gone on a mission, I thought for a moment I was in the Celestial Kingdom. I think a lot of the other moms were crying because they will miss their child. I was crying for joy and for relief. The structure will be so good for Austin, I just have a feeling he’ll go out a little boy and come back an awesome responsible man. (a thing he could only dabble at during his 9 months at college and his 9 long months at home at home because he lacked the frontal cortex development to organize and go and overcome temptations and obstacles and get things done.) When I hugged him that last goodbye before we went out our door and he went out his, I whispered in his ear a thing that was meaningful and special on one of our Sunday walks last summer when I tried to convince him to stop playing WOW. I said, “Austin, I know you can reach your potential.”

Then he was gone. We hung out with Danica, we saw Bryce and Marcinia’s new house. We went to Eric’s 3^rd temple marriage (3^rd time’s the charm) Now I’ve come home to an empty house. It’s so strange. The wrestling, the yelling, the Superbowl parties, the friends cars parked so we couldn't get out, the mess….the love, the disappearing food, the 40 pairs of shoes by the door and the roar from the basement….. The end of an era. That was so much fun!

39.75 hours to the MTC

This px is Austin saying he's going to get fat on his mission.
Oh, Oh it's getting so close! Austin gave his mission farewell talk yesterday. His subject was Christlike service. We had a good discussion about some of his friends who didn't prepare their talks and did poorly, so he decided to let me coach him. He even typed up the transitions between the stories and the scriptures. While typing, he got off track many times and I found if I left the room, he wandered out too. He practiced it one time. Not a good practice. I was nervous. But when he stood up to give it, he spoke with confidence, rarely glancing at his completely typed out talk. He told about missionary work being the best type of service and recounted his days at Arapahoe High where the Mormon kids all hung out together and ate lunch every day under the big tree out front, "the Mormon tree" and how they always invited Kristen along and she wasn't a member but went to Seminary with them and played their dumb "water drinking games" and how that he even made the supreme sacrifice and asked her to homecoming. (but that was OK because she's attractive) and how later, she listened to the missionaries and got baptised. I was breathless, and so proud of him up there in his new suit. I thought, "My goodness, Austin can rise to the occasion and be a "real missionary!". There was a surprising amount of people his age visiting the young adult branch in his honor.....Arapahoe girls who are off track from BYUI, and all the younger priests he's been playing halo with in the basement. Our, very supportive friends the Tureks and the Baileys and our home teacher came to the young adult ward to hear him. There's only 15 people usually in that branch. After the meeting, he said, "Thanks Mom, for keeping me on task and being my ritalin."

2nd try at the Cannibal picture

Everyone was here for New Years except Tiana (on her mission) and Don (still in boot camp) so we dressed up and made another attempt at the the last big family px. It was glorious having Sammy running around the house screaming while Grandpa or Brad or Austin chased him. He never walks anywhere, he only runs. The main level is kind of a circle and Austin would put shoes in Sammy's path near the front door and Sammy would plow into them without looking every time. Jensen is adorable and so fun to hold an kiss. We played lots of the European and American train game, ate way too much fudge, and delicacies from the Lion house Christmas cookbook and generally enjoyed being snowed in for Christmas Holidays. The highlight was on the 29th when we went to the temple and Austin got his endowments out for his mission. We were the only patrons in the temple because of the snow storm and it was really great to have an entire prayer circle with just our family. I wish every mom could be so lucky to feast her eyes on grown children in this way.

The Christmas Px in Progress

As many of you know, it is a Barrand tradition to do a zany Christmas picture in costumes that reflects what we've done in the past year and includes all the fam....even those who can't be there that year. So, we thought....what's been the big deal this year and our easy answer is....two missionaries in the fam! Austin going to Canada and Tiana in WV. What kind of px can you do with 2 missionaries. So we came up with this......Cannibals with the 2 missionaries in the cooking pot. The first attempt of this px was shot with an assortment of ametuer camers and photoshopped by my dear friend Anna Roedel on a mac at CTU. It meant combining 5 different shots and a background. Turned out fuzzy and we can't see Jensen. So, since this might be our last px, we will be trying again.....

The Blizzard of '06

18 inches of snow and snowed in for two days. Talk about a white Christmas! Mark was smart enough to have me get groceries the night before it hit! Oh joy! School was closed, everything was closed. I wrapped presents, I got homework and grades done. When it was finally over at 1:00 today we went out to dig out. Our neighbor across the street has a nice snow blower machine. We've got Austin the hos machine. We were 2/3 of the way dug out of the 3 car driveway when our our neighbor to the right drove up with his big "machine" and finished the rest. (he owns an excavating company)

The Last Mission Call

Austin was playing WOW at 7:30 pm at CTU. I kicked him out and told him to go home. Mark had been phoning and phoning. It's only been 10 days since he submitted his mission papers electronically. We called all the kids and had them all on speaker phones. Austin called girls he knew, neighbors in and opened the envelope......Toronto Canada West. My Dad's name is Keith and we named Austin after him....Austin Keith. And, that's where dad served his mission. Cool huh. While I'm SO excited for him to go after this long 7 months of preparation, I will miss seeing him in the tutoring center at school and having him sit in my chair in my cube. I will miss seeing his awesome artwork in the glass cabinet in the foyer. I will miss seeing him eat 8 pieces of pizza when they bring it in for finals week. I will miss our Sunday walks when Austin hails the strangers in the park "How's your day going?" I will miss the way Austin "helps me" decorate the Christmas mom, oh, I mean tree. I will miss seeing Austin wrestle anyone anywhere he can. I will miss this very fun boy in a big man's body. I hope the Canadians feed Elders lots of food. Austin will be happy then.

I am so blessed. 2 cute grandsons! Sammy was Fran-n-Sam for Halloween so his little friend is Bride Bee of Frank-n-sam. As his mom said, Jensen's only scarey aspect of this lion costume is the drool.

Oh Thanksgiving. Belching contests between Austin, Andrew and Bryce. Wonderful Family, Football and Food! Definitely one of the best holidays. We walked into Bryce's Condo after our drive from Denver and out popped Danica and Dave and then (big surprise) out popped Celeste and Brad! They told us they'd be in OK for the weekend. We ate at Uncle Eric's house and saw 41 Hogan relatives. We swam in the Hotel pool with Sammy. He is so funny! He never stopped moving or growling or dancing or chasing us. We held smiley, smiley Jensen. Oh heaven. I love being a grandma.

Aussie's Mission

Austin Got his Patriarchal blessing today. It was a wonderful and unusually directive blessing, just right for Austin. It was very practical and specific about not wasting time. I'm just proud that Austin has got himself ready and is excited to go. We all owe a big thanks to Don who told him to stop playing WOW. (among others who told him to stop--but bless Austin's heart, he's cancelled his subscription) In other news, Dad and I have been called to be ordinance workers in the temple. I'm looking forward to the quiet time once a week, away from the teeming masses.

"Urinetown"

Sunday November 12
We flew to Champaign Urbana to see Celeste and Brad's play. Despite the repulsive name, it was a very entertaining play. Well not the first time we saw it! Brad gets killed half way through! So they explained that it's SATIRE and that their goofy 2 dimensional characters are to make fun of other musicals. 2nd time we saw it we enjoyed Brad leading a gospel choir, a handkerchief number like Fiddler on the roof and a flag flying Les Mis.

Tiana's Surprise

Tiana was supposed to go on a mission to W. Virginia April 5th of this year, but she met a guy and got really distracted. They broke up and she took off for Provo. So we were sleeping peacefully in our bed in September and Tiana burst through the door and announced she was home and going on her mission. She entered the MTC about 1 week later. We are very proud of sister Barrand. You can see px on her blog, sistertbarrand.blogspot.com

Salzburg Prague Germany

Aug 11 We hit Salzburg. Must say something about Mark here. He has this delusion that he's in the TV series "Amazing Race". We hustle from site to site, hefting our huge back packs. He's feverishly reading maps. Brad Celeste and Mark were all the leaders I found it easier to follow. Salzburg was where the Sound of Music was filmed so we hit those sights and also Mozarts Museum since he grew up there.
Aug 12 We were so excited to got to Prague because we heard the exchange rate was better so we'd be able to buy more food with our money. We went crazy on Lunch. We were confused and ordered "one of everything" on the authentic menu. Brad had a pig knuckle and Celeste thought the pear drinks were 40cents. They actually were four dollars. But, string ensemble was fun and the sausages were a highlight of our trip. I ate 3 in one day.
We saw the Newenswander Castle on the 14th. Disney modeled his sleeping beauty castle after this one. Usually castles had paintings of the crucifixion. This was different in that the paintings were of Wagners operas. It was exquisite.

Trip to Europe....Italy

The Land of Naked Marble men. All my life I've wanted to see Michealangelo's David. It kind of took my breath away. Florence was lovely. Venice was even better. I'd have to say that was my favorite city on the 3 week trip. It was like a gem. I cried a couple of times at how beautiful the 13th and 14th century building were while we rode around on the sparkling water. We all got addicted to gelato.

Europe Continued..

Aug 1-7 We made it to Spain. It's over 100 degrees. We stay in a Noisy, Noisy Madrid hostel with no air, I have to douse all my clothes in the sink water in order to sleep! We See El Escorial Castle. Gardens, more castles. Lovers walking in the gardens by the castles. Statues and fountains. The Prado! Now I've seen the 5 heavyweight art museums in the world (Louve, Tiawan, British, Met in NY0rk) We saw the beautiful Madrid Temple, Toledo, Sevilla and Flameco dancing. The last bull of the evening tried to get into the audience by knocking down the barrier fence with his horns. Terrible personality that one.

Our Trip to Europe

7/27 We Started in Switzerland. The jagged glacial alps rise straight up behind the hotels in Interlocken. Everything is green and the window boxes have lots or real red geraniums. We went to Ballenburg which is a 1698 to 1730 restored villiage. I've died and gone to Heidi land. Celeste and Brad did really well to plan this trip.
We rode a night train (hard to sleep) to Carcasonne Castle in France. Cobblestone streets. Built by the Visigoths in 500 AD. Added onto by the Arabs in 725 then the french in 775 to 1400. We saw a jousting match all in French. Dacron Sayson won. This is him.

Danica's Wedding

Once upon a time there was a girl who met a guy. Danica was a practical person, majoring in Finance at BYUI who saw an old zone leader from her mission and walked up and slapped him on the back on the way to class. She invited him on an ill-fated trip that weekend when her car fell apart. He's a geology major who could see that Danica was top strata. When they decided to marry it would be no lace, lights and decorations for this girl. Nay. A BBQ in Falcon park. What simplicitous rapture for her mom. A glorious day filled with many old friends, mission companions, crazy brothers and sisters and a very puppy sad eyes x-boyfriend.

Alaska Cruise '05

The Norwegian Sun was a beautiful ship. My sister Leslie warned us to take coats and sweaters because the weather was cold and rainey. We had sun and 80 degree weather and spent time tanning at the pool. During the day we went on excursions to 1) Watch humpback whales that were only about 20 feet from our little jet boat 2) See lumberjacks compete 3) Salmon fish- Mark 4) get a massage -Me 5) Go from Skagway up to the start of the Yukon trail and learn about the gold rush 6) see glaciers 4) see mt. goats, bald eagles and orcas At night they had entertainment of MDT people, a stand up comedian and a magician. On Monday night they did the "not so newlywed game" and they called us up. From then on complete strangers from the ship would stop us in towns and tease us about our sex life and my bra size. Oh, and one of the best things was the food--since this was our first cruise we were unprepared for being spoiled with the plentiful and delicious nature of the edibles and beverages.